I can deeply relate to that when reflecting on situations where I had a friend with me vs alone
I don’t feel so alive and connected with the ppl in the gym when I’m alone compared to when I’m with someone else like Osama, who I’m EXTREMELY comfortable with.
he has seen the depths of my weirdness
when I have a friend with me, I allow myself to have fun and act silly. But why?
I learned to be comfortable with acting weird around people I know don’t mind it/appreciate it
I might be resistant to acting weird around strangers because they would just get creeped out, and not appreciate it.
it really sounds like my purpose for acting weird and energetic is coming from a desire to:
provide joy to other people
connect with them
inspire them to become more energetic and social and let go of their fear of being judged
one small motivation is to show ppl that I’m having fun/I know how to have fun which kinda makes me more attractive
I would like to focus on my motivation to inspire and provide joy
But the thing is, is it a good thing that I’m relying on external factors(my friends) to be able to be the best version of myself
they both have strong reasons to be true, but I feel like I need to still learn how to be the best version of myself even when I have no friends around me.
maybe this requires me to think differently, but still be connected to my Love for People