- “This made me think of you”
- ” You’re always so…”
- ” last time we talked you mentioned…”
- we naturally are easily reactive to people’s cues. But if we label these cues and just become aware of them in our heads we are less likely to be affected by them
- show your palm when greeting people
- use gestures because it reveals honesty
- liars are known to have little to no gestures
- most view TED talks have a lot of hand gestures that align well with what they’re saying
- Even thumbnails are clicked more if there’s some sort of hand gesture
charisma
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signal high warmth
- trust
- likability
- friendiness
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default in women
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lean in when speaking and listening
- even in public speaking
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signal high competence
- power
- reliability
- capability
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default in men
-
high
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you need both for charisma and to be able to influence
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high competence and low warmth is how you get people not to trust you
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if you want to feel and look more competent, maximize The distance between your ears and shoulders
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When to have eye contact when speaking. People like it when you are wondering and thinking deeply while speaking, but make sure in the end you look at them. In some way it’s a gesture that shows that you are speaking to them
-
lower lip flex AKA squinting
- it shows that you’re deeply focusing on someone
- but sometimes others might do it on you because they’re confused about something. So in that case immediately ask them and alleviate their confusion as soon as you notice they’re doing that
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people who end their sentences with a higher pitch are perceived to be liars and untrustworthy
- do I increase my pitch at the end of my sentences?
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handshakes with people you know should last one second
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with people you do not know or are meeting for the first time, it should last 3 seconds
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nodding reveals so much about how much we trust a person
- if you’re nodding down, that means you’re hiding your neck because you don’t trust that person enough to expose your neck to them
- I’ve noticed in myself situations where I nod up to someone even though they’re strangers
- I trust people way too much