Intentions and Fear of Judgment
Sometimes I don’t approach people, whether it’s a boy or a girl, because of my own intentions. I have intentions that I would not like to reveal to the other person. And by default, we act out what we intend to do in some way. There’s always that fear that the other person will be able to figure out our intentions. So, as a result, we believe that intention dictates our action and influences our decision to approach people, even though the other person has no idea what our intention is. The problem is not with the world or society, but instead with us and our way of thinking.
Personal Example of Fear
For example, I often think people would assume I’m hitting on them when, in reality, all I want is to do something uncomfortable, yet provide some service or value to the world. This thought was sparked by a situation where I wanted to help a girl who seemed lost. I’m a familiar face to her, but I was afraid to look challenged. On the one hand, I preach to embrace challenges and show interest and care, but at the same time, I act nonchalantly.
The Process of Being Nonchalant
I need to give myself the advice I share with the world: to be nonchalant, you need to first be challenged for a long time until it becomes effortless. I remember a discussion with Agarwal about how it’s impossible to achieve what you want if you don’t start by being open and accepting challenges. You need to be challenged first. You cannot become an expert in something without being challenged.
Once you’re challenged for a long time, fail a lot, but continue doing it, you will eventually reach a point where you’re such an expert that it becomes effortless. By doing it repeatedly, it becomes easy, and that’s when nonchalantness naturally develops.
Insights on Challenges and Expertise
This point is crucial and insightful when considering doing things that push boundaries. You can’t do extraordinary things in a nonchalant way if you haven’t first tackled them directly. Embracing challenges is the first step toward effortless mastery.