Reflection on Connection and Desire
The Urge to Connect
Throughout my time in this year, I realized a significant aspect of my behavior: the urge to connect with someone, particularly a woman. This desire to bond deeply with someone is a persistent, almost haunting feeling. It’s always present, 24/7, leading me to always be on the lookout for potential connections. It seems normal to want to find someone or have that special connection, but the intensity of my desire feels a bit overwhelming at times. Everything I do, everywhere I go, is driven in part by this desire to find “the one.” I often wonder if others feel the same way or if my experience is more intense than usual.
Stimulating Environment
Another observation is how stimulating it is for me to walk around campus. The act of simply passing by people is incredibly engaging because each encounter presents the potential to make a new friend or a lover. This constant possibility energizes me, but I also recognize that not everyone experiences this kind of stimulation from social interactions. It’s a reminder that I might be different.
Embracing Being an Outlier
I’ve come to terms with being an outlier. There’s nothing wrong with it; in fact, it can be advantageous. Our uniqueness allows us to provide value in ways that others might not. My aim has been to leverage this uniqueness through my YouTube videos, although I acknowledge that I haven’t been putting my full effort into them yet. Nevertheless, I’m always on the lookout for ways to channel my distinct perspective into something meaningful.