Context
- in Berlin where I kinda get to explore Germany and European
Feelings
- often feeling dissatisfied with what I’m doing
- Pressured to do things in Europe
Thoughts
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I make these big plans but then find myself not too keen on doing them like:
- recording a video in Potsdam
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Because How you start shapes the rest of your journey unfortunately most of the time, and being in a new environment where most people don’t speak English makes it hard to be outgoing so I kinda have to force myself into doing what I planned to do.
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That’s the problem, I really value being Authenticity and I feel inauthentic when doing these things I wanna do so the end product would not be the best
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all of this to say: I’m putting way too much pressure onto myself and it’s overwhelming me. I have way too many things to catch up on but I’m unable to make the time for them coz I keep trying to “make the best of” every day, every experience
- Going to Potsdam again was not the right move.
- I fantasized the possibilities and that motivated me to go. Looking back at these fantasies, I kinda feel stupid for having these assumptions
- Shoulda stayed home and caught up on all the things I need to do so that I would feel less pressured during the weekend
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Even Ted Talks are pressuring me into doing more things
Future Plan
- Less is more