• As I was getting ready for the call, I was feeling very excited and confident in my ability to Communicate effectively going into it
  • but unfortunately as soon as he joins the call, I lose control of my Emotions and what I’m saying, which is similar to what happened in my first technical interview where I just couldn’t get myself to Mindfully think and as a result completely forgot about binary search😭
    • For this call, it wasn’t one big failure I committed, I did several small ones, especially during the start of the call (which dictates the rest of the call) and it all came from I’m still scared of silence in conversations (more on that below)
  • I thought lack of preparation was the problem. I even talked about it in one of my YouTube videos(TLDR: situational Confidence comes from experience, practice, repetition, and trusting yourself)
    • It might be the fact that I don’t have enough experiences under my belt when it comes to these situations.
    • While I’ve had several experiences doing this in-person, this was my 2nd time talking to a ‘Chief ___ Officer’ on a video chat.
  • some factors that affect my ability to speak clearly in important video calls include:
    • what if I start lagging and something crucial that I share doesn’t get through
    • what if they’re not listening anymore(I’ve gone off topic, started talking about things they’re not interested in).
      • It’s hard to conclude things from their body language through the camera.
    • as someone who genuinely loves talking to people and bonding with them, video calls just can’t replicate the feeling you get when you’re physically beside the other person
    • the delay
    • so because my head is actively thinking of these, it’s hard for me to get into a Flow state
  • it felt weird talking for so long. And I just felt like I couldn’t stop because I felt like my answers wouldn’t be complete if I stop midway.
    • next time I have to talk for a long time, I will try to stop every now and then and ask the other person if they have any questions regarding what I shared and if they would like me to continue with my response.
  • at the end of the day the biggest reason I wasn’t able to explain myself clearly/ Communicate effectively is because I wasn’t calm, and I wasn’t calm because I didn’t feel like I was in control.