Video version: The power of habits script
Have you ever heard the quote “What you resist persists”? This powerful statement by Carl Jung perfectly captures our relationship with failure and the pursuit of perfection. When we obsess over avoiding failure, we often end up trapped in a cycle that prevents real growth.
The Toxicity of Perfect Streaks
Let me share a personal example from my journey overcoming addiction. I would sometimes maintain sobriety for weeks or even months. But when I eventually relapsed, I’d fall into a destructive/toxic mindset, telling myself: “I might as well make the best out of it,” and falling completely back into old patterns, as if all previous progress meant nothing. This reinforces old habits and creates a cycle of defeat.
This all-or-nothing thinking is incredibly harmful. I treated my progress like a video game where one mistake erased all 100 coins I’d earned through 100 days of sobriety. In reality, those 100 days still represented genuine growth and learning.
You have to remember: The people who succeed are not the people who never fail. They’re the ones who refuse to quit. Progress >>>> Perfection
A Better Approach to Setbacks
Instead of viewing habit formation as a perfect streak that resets to zero after one mistake, think of it as a cumulative score:
- Every positive action earns you points
- Every slip-up costs you some points (but not all of them)
- Your overall progress remains largely intact
This applies to everything from quitting vaping to changing eating habits or building a fitness routine. The people who succeed aren’t those who never fail, they’re the ones who refuse to quit despite failures.
Think Long-Term About Your Actions
When considering any action, good or bad, think about its compound effect if repeated daily:
- Negative example: Eating sweets every time you’re bored might seem harmless once, but imagine the health impact if repeated daily for months.
- Positive example: Planning your day every morning might seem like a small habit, but over time it dramatically reduces distractions and increases productivity.
Starting Small Is Better Than Not Starting
Let go of perfectionism and focus on the process. If you have trouble going to the gym without a friend, don’t worry about having the perfect workout—just build the habit of showing up for even 20-30 minutes. What matters most is building the muscle of actually going there. Then worry about the volume and intensity.
The Unfortunate Truth About Change
You must REALLY WANT to change to be able to change. You can’t change if deep down you don’t really want to or are not willing to sacrifice to let go of your old self. If there’s a bad habit you know is there, but you’re not ready to face it with all your power, nothing will change. Real growth starts when you truly feel the need to change, not just when you think you should.
Remember that everyone, including me, is imperfect and still working on various habits. The journey of transformation isn’t about achieving perfection but about persistent improvement despite inevitable setbacks.
What habit are you currently working on changing? Remember that each attempt, even the unsuccessful ones, brings you closer to the person you wanna be.