• especially in important video calls: Why do I not feel in control during important video calls
  • my best guess is because:
    • by the conversation being silent, that means there’s no reason we should be meeting (I would think to myself: “they might as well end the call now”)
    • this is a consequence of me naturally being someone with an Introverted history and being I am a man of purpose
      • in other words, in everything I put effort in, there must be a reason, deep motivation behind the thing I’m doing. And if there isn’t, what comes out wouldn’t be my best work.
      • similar to my thought process in The more attractive she is the better I speak
  • I really need to let go of the association between silence (especially extremely short periods) and meaninglessness
  • I thought I was pretty good at it, but it turns out I’m only good at it with close friends or around people I’m not interested in having a conversation with