Context

been having problems with women lately and I’m starting to not liking how it’s making me feel. I have some mental barriers and conflicts that I have to resolve ASAP to be able to alleviate that resistance from my life

Feelings

some part of me wants to approach women.
Other part of me doesn’t for a few reasons:
- I don’t want to be perceived as someone who is tryna get something out of someone
  - This is what I believe most men do and I don’t wanna be perceived as most men.
    - this reveals something big: I have a negative stigma against men. I believe men are filthy horny animals but I’m not that. And because I’m trying so hard not to be seen as one, I end up not doing the things I feel like doing due to the fear of being perceived as someone who’s a “Man”. Ik I sound very irrational.
another part that is also stopping me is my morals which says I only shall approach women if there’s a strong valid reason to. So a lot of the times of there’s a woman that I wanna talk to, I try to mine for a reason to talk to her. A lot of the times I end up staying in my head until I lose the courage to approach or they leave the area
- being the devil’s advocate:
  - isn’t that an enough reason? I wanna get energized by the interactions that I have. I also don’t wanna judge them based on their looks.
- I wanna continue to let my curiosity flourish. I don’t wanna quiet it down as I did for the majority of my life

it really all comes down what I’m curious about. I believe that this is a strong enough reason for me to do it.
I think I can always find a reason to not go for it. Especially as an Introvert, who generally need a big reason to actually socialize.
But when I rely on my curiosity to lead the way, the overthinking seizes to exist.
I of course won’t let my curiosity do shit against my deep morals. Like trying out psychedelics. I ofc am extremely curious about it but I’m never going to allow myself to try them.